T-Shirts

There is at least one hash that has to get government permission for its t-shirts designs, the Yangon H3. For a change, the focus of the censorship is not on erupting penises etc. but includes such offensive words as 'Burma' and 'Rangoon' and any comments suggesting that the Myanmar government is anything but ideal. Once the hash was able to print on a t-shirt the words "I Ran goo n umbered Run…" using the Burmese number for six which looks like a 'g' but the GM still can't believe they got that past the censor.

Feb 29 Report

Keen to be part of the world wide hash Feb. 29 "feel the feeling," and due to temporary blindness when looking at the Europe H3 website, I emailed Half-Mind.com events editor Hazukashii who gave me the Yerevan H3 details shortly before Feb 29. Amazingly, in these post-Sept 11 days, the meeting point was in front of the US embassy and at 15:00 (12:00 GMT) was almost at the World Wide Feb 29 hash time (of which the Yerevan hash was totally ignorant). I arrived shortly before the meeting time but there was no sign of anyone and I was being carefully observed by the otherwise bored embassy guards. Panic set in - after all, this must be the only time in history that I have been the first to show up for a hash. A phone call through to the marine on duty (note for those who have trouble locating hashes in capital cities, the US embassy marines usually know what is going on - hope this doesn't change with the Okinawa incident) confirmed I was at the right place and eventually the hashers showed up. There were only 10 hashers and this included the two hares, two dogs and two very young children. The pack here apparently randomly varies from 6 to 25, so planning quantities must be a challenge.

I would give a spirited account of the up and down dales trail as we dashed, hashed and xashed (I just made that word up) around the hills 30 minutes out of Yerevan. And believe me, I was really keen to provide such a write-up, but duty called: one of the hares picked up his wife and children on the way to the run and it turned out the wife had to carry her 11 month baby on her back. How disappointed I was at not being able to do the runners' trail was surely obvious on my face when as the only other female, I agreed to be a fellow walker. And I was rewarded; the hash was great - it really went out of their way to make me feel like I belonged. I never felt like a visitor looking in on a clique which can happen with some hashes. Mind you, they had the worst beer I have ever had the misfortune to taste (and for those not in the know, I hate beer in general.) Even though 70 per cent of the hashers were male - well, I think both the dogs were male but who can tell when they don't wear proper hash gear - none of them inspired me to pop the question, unfortunately. However, I decided to ask XXXX XXX but he refused, so instead I became betrothed to XXXXXX's XXXXX. After a Britney Spears wedding, I will then be able to marry XXX XXXX XXX, and when that marriage ends, I then have XXXXXXXXX waiting in line so I too can be one of those hashes who can proudly say, "My last ex-husband…"

For Further Theological Discussion

Do you think it was due to G's intervention that the biweekly Yerevan hash was running almost at the right time on Feb29 although purely ignorant of the Feb 29th significance?

Hash-L

I was so pleased that I would not be anywhere near the continent as North America buckles down for eight months of American election campaigning when last night I had my first ever but eagerly awaited opportunity to check out the 200 odd channels on my new Armenian satellite TV. It also turned out to be my first chance to view Iranian television (five different channels!) as well as from every Arab nation on earth and I was just sympathizing with their soap opera writers: unless the theme of the show can be "I am sure that she was flirting with me through her veil" or "Did she really mean to reveal her ankle when she stepped off the curb?" what can they write about? (although come to think about it with four different wives and their various kids under one roof, I suppose there is a whole set of story lines western soap writers would die for - who needs Big Brother) and pondering how boring my life in Yerevan was going to be when today I decided to finally look at all the hash-l emails that have been filling up my mail box for the last four months. "Holy Burma!," I thought "who needs TV when one can read hash-l?" This is just as well since as a non (or insufficient) Farsi, Armenian, Kurd, Azeri, Russian, Spanish, Dutch, Arabic, Serbian, Macedonian, Bulgarian, Chinese, Italian or Greek speaker my choices are reduced from 200 plus basically down to American Election Channel Inc. (CNN), music video channels and more religious programmes than I ever imagined existed (besides the English ones who would have guessed there would be two Arabic television channels with Christian themes? And did you know that there was a Maharishi TV?).

I must admit that I was filled with envy reading hash-l (along with other emotions I won't go into). How do you all you writers do it - find the time, I mean? I don't even have enough time to read hash-l. I must only be about one third through even now! (To answer the question you are undoubtedly asking yourself right now: "MTM, why were you reading all that dribble?" - it was either that or read about accounting for derivatives and other financial instruments.)

Non Hash Information Sought From Those Who Have Hashed in the Middle East

Yesterday I went to an Armenian ski resort where at the top of the first chair lift, there was a bunch of snowmobiles with Dubai export licenses (Since no police cars can get up there, why bother changing the license?). Is the Dubai climate different from what I always thought or can these things run on sand?

Well, I will sign off since I have important research to do for my next report: Which of Ventone's Urdu, Hindi, Bengali, or Tamil music video channels is the best? (A report by a purely unbiased viewer)

On-On.
MTM
Member of a running club with a good but irreverent sense of humour.

p.s. Sorry this write up was so long. For those who wish to complain: you can all Rangoon Off!